Where You Most Likely Left Your Lighter

With the rapid legalization of marijuana in states across the US comes a problem no one ever anticipated. A problem so frustrating and annoying, it's even caused some stoners to rage quit. I am of course referring losing your lighter -- the stoner's lightsaber.

So, the question is, where the hell did you leave your lighter? Well, here are some places we suggest you look, dumbass.

Refrigerator
     When's the last time you visited the fridge for a frosty beverage? Were you in the middle of a smoke sesh then? Did you perhaps leave the lighter in the refrigerator for some stupid reason? Note: this is also most likely to happen when one's frosty beverage consists of 4-40% alcohol.

Bathroom
     Yeah, disgusting, sure, but well, nature calls even when you're about to light that shit. Just make sure you at least run the sucker under some hot water. No, that doesn't mean get the flamer part wet. Won't work correctly if you do that, dummy. Didn't you see Wizard Of Oz?

Any And All Pockets In All Clothing Worn Last Two Days
     Now, assuming your lazy ass isn't doing laundry daily. And seriously, who does? And how is your body not covered in detergent rash if you do? Oh, yeah, that's a real thing. Makes your skin turn red and crusty no matter your ethnicity and original skin tone. It's creepy all of the sudden turning into a radish.

Your Friend Or Acquaintance's Pocket
     That lighter looks familiar, doesn't it? Seems as if your "friend" has gotten a new lighter which look suspiciously like the one you lost and suspiciously like the one you were using the last time you were having a group powwow. Dude, you have been Humphrey Bogarted, dude. You're going to have to go all Johnny Quest on your friend, man to get your lighter back. Or just pickpocket the fucker and use his credit card to buy a flamethrower from Elon Musk.

The Sofa Ate It
     Yup, gotta make the effort to actually get off the sofa to check in between the cushions. But trust me, sofas, couches, loveseats, recliners, all furniture eats your shit, man. How do I know this? Uh, because I saw it happen on The Big Comfy Couch, man! Like, that thing was voracious, eating anything and everything. So beware, and don't get eaten yourself.