As you've probably heard by now, the 2018 White House Correspondents' Dinner was another rousing shit show. To avoid a politically stupid epileptic tirade like both President Trump and the fake news, I'll just say I did some thinking and came up with some other candidates to speak at next year's event who aren't comedians. Which at this point is a good thing since this shithole country can neither tell a good offensive joke, nor take one. Well, neither can I, which you will soon witness.
Jeff Zucker
We need to hear him explain how he's going to keep from running CNN completely into the ground like he did NBC. Because let's face it, CNN was fucking irrelevant before they started bashing President Dipshit every time he opens his mouth. When neither side of the aisle trusts you as a news source in the fucking field of news you--CNN--created, well, then how the fuck is the bow of this ship still even above water? I bet if Titanic survivors were alive to see CNN today they'd have flashbacks and panic attacks. "No, Nan, that's not the stupid captain, that's just Wolf Blitzer."
The Casts Of All The President's Men, Spotlight, and The Post
Oldies, but goodies, especially when it comes to the journalism community giving itself fellatio with the assistance of Hollywood. Actually, nix that. A past event is probably how Harvey Weinstein and Matt Lauer first met up to share strategies.
Murrow, Cronkite and Jennings: The Interactive Holograms
"Back from the dead and taking questions from today's TV news journalists!" Now, seriously, who the fuck wouldn't want to see this? Especially considering these three wouldn't take shit from anyone these days: not politicians, not their corporate overlords, and definitely not the interns accusing them of sexual harassment. Tom Brokaw would be moderator, naturally.
Clint Eastwood
Because there needs to be a sequel to "Clint Speaks To An Empty Chair." That first performance was right up there with his practically silent one in the Dollars Trilogy.
Management Of NBC News
Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. Explanations. As to why money came before any claims of sexual harassment against top on-air talent. As to why they think the best course of action is to basically deal with it internally instead of going the smart and public relations savvy course of hiring an outside firm to do the investigating. As to why their news organization has no problem pointing out hypocrites like Donald Trump, FOX News, or those in Hollywood, but won't take serious responsibility regarding the actions of those within their own organization. What, are the same people who have been running NBC the last thirty years been the same pieces of shit running the athletic programs at Penn State and Michigan State? Hell, how do we know for sure NBC didn't know of the shit going on in US Gymnastics and turned a blind eye towards it due to any effect on Olympics ratings? I would like them to answer these questions and explain to the general public why anyone should continue to trust them as a legitimate news organization? Pfft, why am I asking all of this. This is the same organization that let Brian Williams keep a job in the organization after he flat out lied out his ass while claiming to be a legitimate journalist.
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