"Make sure you buy some dip for that chip on your shoulder."
"I wish I could be Employee Of The Month. But I don't want to make all my coworkers feel worse about themselves for an entire month."
"That's noble of you."
"I know, right?"
"So, if Jack Daniels sponsors the team, will their name change to the Tennessee Whiskey Titans?"
"You haven't lived until you've been chased by rabid frogs."
"What the hell?"
"I'm grunting. All the top tennis coaches are now teaching proper grunting technique. How's mine?"
"You sound constipated."
"Sweet, I'll let my coach know I'm ready for level three."
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