Well, looks like some wise old, creepy man came out of the woodwork from Timbuktu and placed the idea in your head that you're the Chosen One. Okay, sure, we'll overlook the fact you were never chosen to play Red Rover in elementary school and just go with this. Now that you're the Chosen One who I'm assuming is going to save us all, there are some things you need to know before you embark on your quest to save whatever the fuck needs saving. Being the Chosen One ain't no easy, soft, tender piece of cake, bub. For example:
-- Every time you dine out with friends, you get stuck with the tab because heroes are supposed to also make monetary sacrifices.
-- Dumb little kids think you can drop what you're doing to save their pet or dying parent or whatever.
-- When you go on talk shows, you're always asked the question as to whether you might turn all evil and shit like Anakin Skywalker.
-- Your cherished mentor dies before updating his will and now you have to fight his bastard child for the right to keep your awesome sword.
-- Being the Chosen One is still not enough to get you free board even at a flea-infested, hourly-rate motel.
-- Your romantic love interest will probably leave you at some point after your success at whatever it was to win 'em over, so he or she can go and shack up with your best friend.
-- People will be grateful you saved their lives. They'll be less grateful for all the property damage it took to accomplish that goal.
-- You'll have to learn shit extremely fast, like kung fu, because the plot demands it.
-- People will always refer to your walking around as "questing."
-- And no, just because you're the Chosen One, doesn't mean anyone's going to be any more willing to wipe your butt for you.
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